It’s only when there’s some disruption to one’s life that it hits you how much we live in presumption of continuity. Be it loss of job, a loved one, a friend, relationship or even something very small that you held dear, like an emotional anchor, that you are confronted with reality of change and discontinuity.
You wake up and you see a flat on your car, or, these days, the Internet connection is down. It just throws everyone in a tizzy. We flutter like a fish without water to get back into the comfort zone of our routine, of the flat-line of existence where the only spikes we seek are the ones we induce and control with momentary excitement of a vacation or some such short-lived event, just like the heartbeat where the spikes break the monotony of its existence of it’s flat-line.
These days I’ve been reading different books on Mahabharata and Gita. In one of the books the interpretation of one of its verse has been tugging me for some time and it goes like this – …this is why, in Hindu funerals, the corpse is first burnt and then the ashes and bones are cast into the river. You are given a choice, do you want to break free or continue to be entrapped in the cycle of life. Every change or disruption in life gives us this choice. Unfortunately, most of will choose to go back to the flow of the river.
One of my favorite poems of all times by Dilip Chitre puts it differently but well.
अर्ध-सत्य
चक्रव्यूह में घुसने से पहले
कौन था मैं और कैसा था मैं
यह मुझे याद ही नहीं रहेगा !
चक्रव्यूह में घुसने के बाद
मेरे और चक्रव्यूह में सिर्फ जानलेवा निकटता थी
इसका मुझे पता ही नहीं चलेगा !
चक्रव्यूह में से बाहर निकलने के बाद
मैं मुक्त हो जाऊं भले ही
फिर भी चक्रव्यूह की रचना में फर्क ही नहीं पड़ेगा !
मरूं या मारूं, मारा जाऊं यां जान से मार दूं
इसका फैसला कभी ना हो पायेगा !
सोया हुआ आदमीं जब नींद से उठकर
चलना शुरू करता है
तो सपनों का संसार ऊसे दोबारा दिख ही न पायेगा !
और उस रौशनी में जो निर्णय की रौशनी है
सब कुछ समान होगा क्या ?
एक पलड़े में नपुंसकता, और दूसरे में पौरुष
और ठीक तराज़ू के कांटे पर, अर्ध-सत्य !